I have no plan. (7/100)

I have no plan. For this project, I mean.

For me, that’s atypical/scary because God knows I love a good plan.

But I realize that one of the main reasons why I don’t blog as frequently as I’d like is because it takes me FOREVER to get to the point where I can hit post. I agonize over every single word choice, I edit and re-edit, question whether or not I sound stupid or make sense. And then nothing ever gets done.

The teacher in me — the part that loves curriculum-planning and detailed schedules — would love to have themes picked out for each day of the week, an entire arc plotted out so that I could tell a story so compelling/riveting that hearts and minds would be changed, and THEN I would feel like I was making a difference, like what I thought and said actually mattered.

But the reality is (and what history has shown) is that I ain’t got time for that. I spent this morning french-braiding my 2 year-old’s hair while she was watching Paw Patrol. It’s only recently that I’ve come to embrace this time that I have at home, while seeming inconsequential and not awe-inspiring, is my life right now. And that for me is enough (although I struggle with this all the time).

So while I don’t have a plan in typical Jessica-fashion, I do have general guidelines and hopes for the next 100 days:

• I hope to stop obsessing over writing an A+ blog post every single time. So I will limit to only spending about 15-20 minutes for every post.
• I want to share what has come up in prayer for me, in conversations with friends, in my experience of God in my everyday, ordinary life.
• I hope to publish/do something with all those posts in my Drafts folder.

Okay, 20 minutes are up. Looking forward to being on this journey with everyone 🙂